The Pain I Feel The Song I Hear
by myyaoi
Summary: This story is about Seto and Yami. Seto cheats on Yami but whats his reason. Yami tries to kill himself. But they Make up but more problems. poor them.LEMON SYY yaoi. Alot Of DRAMA
1. the beginning of everything

The pain I feel; the song I hear. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh characters.

Hello I'm Melissa. This is my first Yugioh story I actually wrote down. This is kind of sad maybe to people but whatever. On with the story!

Chapter 1: the beginning 

Why did he have to feel so much pain by himself? What did he deserve to be in so much pain and misery? There's no where to go he's all alone. He wished he would just disappear and be alone forever, but then all he would be able to do is think about the past. He wished he could forget, but if he did all he would do is try to remember his past because of his damn curiosity; just like before.

No one would understand. No knew what he was thinking and neither did he know what they were thinking. DO they hate him? What is he going to do if they do? ALL he wanted to do is died, but even then he would feel the pain. There was no way to escape the pain. 

He hated himself! He could never show his face again. The pain is unbearable. There's nothing he can do; just wait and see what happens in the future if there was going to be one for him.

He didn't know what to do. He doesn't want to cut anymore. All it does is cause him more pain. WHY? Is all he could ask? What did he do wrong? So many questions rushed to his head. All he wanted was to be loved. He never backstabbed anyone. They always did it to him. He was in a deep hole of depression and he couldn't get out. Why won't they ever think about his feelings for once? He was in love he wasn't going to let someone just take him away let alone some stupid blonde boy. He was supposed to be his friend. 

"I don't think I can ever love him the way you do Yami" He said

But yet he ran to his arms and pretended that Yami wasn't there.

Watching Joey and kaiba hug was a different thing but watching them in bed was just wrong. How could Kaiba give Yami a key to his apartment and then just take Joey over to have sex that night.

"I LOVE YOU!" was all Kaiba said to Yami when they were together. What went wrong? JOEY was the thing that went wrong. . "NO!" he screamed. No one could hear him nor did he want anyone to hear his pitiful cries. He slid the blade across his veins horiztaly. He was so sad that he didn't notice the blood come out slowly. NO HE WANTED TO DIE! HE NEEDED TO GET RID OF THIS AWFUL PAIN! He cut himself over and over. The pain he felt was so unbearable that he couldn't feel the cut pain. He decided to end his life here and now no one would care anyways. All he had to do is cut himself one deep cut on his main vein and all the pain would be gone for the moment. He put the blade on top of his main vein's skin about to cut through it. The blade dropped to the floor. He couldn't do it. He had to be forgiven by his friends. To him he did nothing wrong. Its not his fault for loving someone. His heart decides who to love and who to hate. He picked up the blade. They didn't care so why should he. This time he was going to do it. He was going to kill himself. He thought for a moment about the things that happen in the last few weeks. Deep in his heart he knew that he shouldn't do this, but in his brain he thought over and over he had to; he had too! Tears ran down his face. This was the end. His book was written, but yet a lot of pages were empty. He slid the blade fast vertically across his skin. He had done it. The blood flowed beautifully out of his body. To him it was a beautiful way to die. So much pain he felt at his last moments. His life flashed through his eyes. He remembered the first time he met Yugi and his friends, his first kiss with Kaiba and the great sex. 

*FLASHBACK*

"Ha ha Seto I beat you! I made it to your bedroom before you." Yami laughed happily.

"You were just lucky." 

"O was I?" 

"Yes Yami. You were."

Seto walked toward Yami and got close to his face and kissed his soft lips.

Seto pushed Yami onto the bed.

"You know Seto this would be my first time having sex with you."

"I'm full aware of that, Yami. I just can't hold in my feeling any longer."

"Neither can I."

Their lips joined in another kiss. Yami parted his lips to left Seto's wandering tongue into his mouth. Seto did the same for Yami. Seto not breaking the kiss struggled to take off his pants. Yami saw this and decided to try to help him. Yami broke the kiss to catch some air and to take off each others clothes. 

"Yami I love you," Seto still out of breath.

"I love you more Seto." 

"Do you?"

"Yes." 

"Lets be together forever Yami. I want to die with you by my side. No matter what happens let's stay together forever. Even if you ever start to hate me I would always love you. NO matter what happens. I would always love you."

"Seto, I promise. If you promise me. I will always love you no matter what."

"I promise."

Now that they had each others clothes off; they were ready to begin.

Seto and Yami joined in a French kiss that was so long they couldn't breathe afterwards.

Seto's hand slowly went lower and lower. Yami moan escaped his lips.

Seto heard this and was very happy with himself. Seto rubbed his body against Yami.

"Seto stop teasing me!"

"No its fun." He laughed.

"Not for me. I'm not sure if I could actually stand any longer." Yami was so aroused to stand such treatment.

"Seto hurry please." Yami said begging.

"Ok here I go."

Seto slid some lube on and stuck his member in slowly.

Yami screamed out loud. 

"You alright Yami." Seto said concerned.

"Yea it just hurts alittle. Seto its ok just go fast."

"Ok Yami. I love you."

"I love you too."

*End Flashback*

This wasn't a time to be thinking about his first time with Seto. He had to do some thing first. He really loved him and trusted him.

He was never more in love. But everything that has a beginning has an end. Tears so lonely and sad dripped into his cuts. It stinged. He started to lose his consenous. He felt like the stupidest person on earth for everything he ever had done. He was almost time he was going to die. Suddenly the door swung open and he heard someone call out his name. But was it too late so save poor Yami.

Hope you like it. I know its short so I'm writing the second chapter right now. But I'm not sure if to post it when I finished. REVIEW and think me WHAT you think!

Please Review if you like it or if you don't. Thanks its means a lot to me.


	2. the hospital

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.**

Chapter 2: the hospital 

Ok I bet you would like to know why I name this story: The pain I feel; the song I hear.

Its because for this chapter and the others I would have some song in the story. Because the songs would help Yami feel what he thought was gone.  Well I hope it would work out. Memo: '' means thinking "" means actually talking out loud.

This chapter's song is: "I can't smile without you."

This chapter is for 3 of my reviewer: The Ghost of Jounochi, 

Kaneda-Shotaro and Yami Tetsuo, and shadow-demon18b.

And on with the story!

Yami laid on the hospital's white bed. Around him were beautiful white not opened yet roses and in the center of the boutique was a single red rose. He smelled them and slowly opened his red eyes. He was shocked to see two beautiful blue eyes staring back at him. Yami didn't want to see Seto. Seto had betrayed him and went to Joey. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hide his tears any longer. Seto, his EX-lover, was Yami's first in everything.  

~Kaiba's POV~

'He looked away from me. Don't look away from me Yami please. He acts so cold to me now. I don't care I still love him. Yami forgive me. It was a mistake. Joey that mutt means nothing to me. Not having you by my side makes me so sad.

I miss waking up and seeing your smiling face look at me. I wish I could tell you how I feel. But he's in so much pain because of me. He almost died because of me. I don't want to cause him any more pain….'

My thoughts were interrupted by Yami's voice. I want to just yell out 'I LOVE YOU YAMI' but he wouldn't care. He would think I'm lying. I know he doesn't love me anymore. I know it.

"Seto…I mean Kaiba…."

'Don't call me Kaiba! Yami I'm still your SETO!'

"Kaiba I need to know. I need and want to know the truth…."

"Yami the truth is…"

'Yami I love you!' That sentence screamed in my head over and over again. My heart started pounding. I fell like my hearts going to pop out.

"Yami…I…"

'I was interrupted by the mutt's voice.'

"I'm back. How's Yami, Kaiba?"

'Yami's face went pale. I wonder what was going on; through his mind and his heart. Tears started coming out from Yami's eyes. He placed his hand on his heart. He looked like he was in so much pain.

"Yami are you ok?" I asked touching his hand on the bed.

"Don't touch me."

'I retreated my hand from the bed.'

"Yami…" Joey said. 

"GET   OUT NOW. BOTH OF YOU GET THE FUCK OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU OR HEAR YOUR VOICE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE FROM THIS POINT ON!" Yami shouted out at us.

'Yami I won't leave. Remember the promise.'

"Did you just save me to make me feel more pain? Why did you save me?! Why didn't you just let me die and end my misery? I don't care if you wanted to tell me that you guys love each other, but to rub it in my face is another thing. Why do you two hate me so much? " 

'My heart stopped that moment. I felt my energy drain from my body. This pain; was Yami feeling it too.

"Fine, if you won't leave then I will." 

Yami struggled to get out of the bed. 

'Did he want to get away from me that much?'

"Yami …don't move so much or you wounds will open up again."

"NOT that you care KAIBA!" He barked back.

I felt like I was going to faint, but I couldn't. I have to be strong. If I want him back then I have to fight for him.

Yami stop trying to get out of the bed when he hit his arm on the bed.

Joey's POV

'Seto looked like he just got stabbed in the heart. Seto loves him. Like I loved Honda, Like Anzu loved Yugi. But at the end everyone loved someone else. Honda loved Duke, He didn't love me. Seto loves Yami and Yami loves him, I have to make him see. They have to be together, no matter what.'

"Are you two deaf or something. I told you to leave. I want to be alone." Yami said so coldly.

'He's really upset.' I thought.

'Of course he has to be, if I was him I would be mad too; if I saw what he saw.

I just feel so terrible. How am I going to fix up this mess?' 

"Yami, Listen the truth is…"

"I don't want you hear your lies, Wheeler."

'He called me Wheeler! Man, Yami is pissed.'

Normal POV

Yami sat on the bed crying. Some how he couldn't stop. Soon, Kaiba found himself crying also. Joey stared at them. They are in so much pain.  

"I'm going now. If you want to be alone then I respect that Yami. We will be waiting for you at school. Yami sooner or later you're going to know the truth whether you want to know or not. I understand that you're not ready, but we won't wait long. We will tell you in exactly 20 days. If you won't listen then we will make you. Got it?"

Yami just nodded as he saw Joey walk out the door. Now it was only Seto and Yami in the room. Both of them crying. That was sad to look at. 

"Yami…I'm sorry. I'll leave if you want me to." Seto said not looking up.

Yami's POV

'I have to make him think that I don't love him, even though I still do. This is going to be hard, but I can't have him think I'm weak.'

"Leave…Kaiba. Leave now. I don't want to see your face or hear your voice anymore. You mean nothing to me, anymore. I just can't believe I trusted you. I…hate…you, Seto Kaiba!" I shuttered. 

'Deep down I hated him for what he did, but I can't stay mad. I love him so much.'

"Ok Yami if that's how you feel, I understand. Cut remember one thing you made the same promise I did. I'm going to hold you to that. And for the recorded I hate you, too." Seto said hiding his face from Yami and running out the door. 

Yami's tears just ran down his cheeks. 

"NO, Seto!" Yami yelled. He cupped his face and cried. Seto his only love said he hated him. What was he going to do? He just said that he hated Seto so he could leave. He never expected him to say it back. His world was falling down little by little and he couldn't do anything, Just cry and cry hoping things would get better.

'This is my entire fault!  I shouldn't have said I hated him. Well at least I know how he feels. But I didn't want to know he hated me. I'm so lonely. Seto come back to me. I still love you.'

Seto POV

'I told him I hated him. Serves him right, he did say it first. But I didn't mean it. I couldn't look at his face. I couldn't stand seeing him cry any more. I just wanted to hold him tight in my arms again. Kiss him and comfort him. I want o be with him.'

Normal POV (at the hospital) 

Yami's put the radio on so the nurses couldn't hear him cry. 

He started to actually hear the song that came on. This song was a long song. A song that he could relate to what he felt. He listened to it closer to understand the words clearer. 

**~I can't smile without you~**

**You know I can't smile without you **

**I can't smile without you **

**I can't laugh And I can't sing **

**I'm finding it hard To do anything **

**You see I feel sad when you're sad **

**I feel glad when you're glad **

**If you only knew **

**What I'm going through **

**I just can't smile without you **

**You came along **

**Just like a song**

**And brightened my day **

**Who'd of believed that **

**You are a part of a dream**

**Now it all seems Light years away **

**And now you know **

**I can't smile without you **

**I can't smile without you **

**I can't laugh And I can't sing **

**I'm finding it hard To do anything**

** You see I feel sad when you're sad **

**I feel glad when you're glad **

**If you only knew What I'm going through**

** I just can't smile **

**And now some people say **

**Happiness takes So very long to find **

**Well I'm finding it hard Leaving your love behind me **

**~Song end~**

Yami found himself crying more and turned off the radio. He decided to curl up into a ball and try to cry himself to sleep.

"You know I can't smile without you…Seto."

Yami said as he felt his eyelids get heavy. He fell asleep in not time with all the energy he used up crying.

Normal POV

~10 days later~

Yami stayed at the hospital for 10 days till he got somewhat better.  Even though most of the time he was crying. Now he only had 10 more days till they will make him listen. He wasn't sure what to do or think anymore. All he knew was that he felt lonely and I mean lonely. But Yami had to go to school. The doctor said he could go but he couldn't do anything physical for a while. But going school meant he had to face everyone. Yugi, Joey, Seto, Anzu, Bakura, Ryou, Honda, Duke, Malik, and Marik. 

How would they react to him trying to kill himself? May be they didn't care after what he told them. What he told them seemed like it cut them deep. 

Well, he had to go. School was the only thing right now that can make him stop thinking about what has happened. Was it going to make him stop thinking about it or make him think about it more? Either was he was out of the hospital and had to go. If he liked it or not.

Well that was tiring. I'm so tried. I have to go to this concert thing for band tomorrow. I wasn't going to write it today but since I got 3 reviews I thought Might as well write it. Well later. PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks


	3. memories and forgiveness

**The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.**

Sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. **TOO** many things going on.

Well here's the story.

This chapter's song is: Mandy Moore's "CRY"

Chapter 3: Memories and Forgiveness

*DREAM*

"Seto…." Yami yelled.

"Hey Yami." 

"Seto…I have something I have been wanting to ask you for a long time."

"What is it?"  

"Who…do you love more…Joey or…me?"

 "Joey. Sorry Yami. You said you hated me, Remember?"

"But I lied. I didn't mean it. I LOVE YOU! SETO!" Yami yelled near tears.

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that? The damages been done. I'm sorry Yami, but you should have been careful what you say." Seto said turning around, not looking at Yami.

"No, Seto please. Listen to me." 

"Farewell, maybe we'll meet in the future." Seto turn to Yami and smiled a faint smile.

Seto turned and ran. He ran as fast as he could. 

"WAIT, SETO!" Yami ran after him.

Yami couldn't catch up to Seto the pain in his heart hurt so much, he couldn't run fast.

He put his hand on his chest as he ran. Soon Seto disappeared. 

"Wait…please." Yami said tears running down his face.

*DREAM END*

The sun's rays shone through the window shining on Yami's face.

He had swollen eyes and a tear streaked face. He had gotten a room at a hotel for the next few days. Lucky, he had money on that day he tried to commit suicide. He knew he had to go to school, but he didn't want to. Going to school meant he had to see them and he had to go to Yugi's house to get his uniform and his bag. 

Yami's face still beautiful even if he had swollen eyes. He looked like he was a fallen angel mourning to have someone help him up. 

"NO…" Yami got up yelling.

"It was only a nightmare. It's not real." Yami looked at the clock and it said 6:30 am.

He had to be at school by 7:45, so he could be filled in by the teachers on what he missed. His school started at 8:00 am and ended at 3:30 pm.

He had only one pair of clothing right now and that was the clothes that he had on.

He walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. 

"O SHIT. I can't go to school with my eyes swollen." 

He turn on the water and cupped his hands under it; catching the falling water. He lowered his head and splashed his face with the water. He raised his head and looked at the mirror one last time. He walked out of the bathroom and grabbed his keys. He walked out the door locking it behind him.

It was a 15 minute walk from the hotel to Yugi's house. 

Yami looked at his watch. It read 6:45. In 15 minutes Yugi would be out of his house and on his way to school.

Yami had spent a lot of time with Yugi so he knew what time his light would leave. He just hoped it wasn't different today.

~about 16 minutes later~

He finally got to Yugi's house. He peeked inside looking if Yugi was still inside. Yugi was no where in sight. 

"Thank Ra." Yami whispered under his breath. 

He put his hand in his pocket looking for his key that Yugi had given him prior to the fight they had. He walked in quietly still. He locked the door behind him. He ran upstairs to the room Yugi and he used to share. It was still the same though. His clothes were on neat in his draw, his posters still on the wall. He felt a small pain in his chest. 

Yami remember why he was there and quickly looked for his uniform. He found it seconds later. He got dressed how fast as he could. He started walking down the steps. The front door opened wide and Yami stop right on his tracks. He started going up backwards slowly. Yugi's walked into the room. 

"Wait up, Joey. I forgot to get my lunch money." 

Yugi walked toward the kitchen walking past the stairs Yami was frozen on. Lucky, for Yami he didn't see him. 

"Yami has come home yet." Yugi said looking at Yami's bag on the sofa.

"Hurry up, Yugi." Joey shouted from outside. 

"Coming." Yugi said putting money in Yami's bag. 

"Thanks Yugi." Yami said forgetting he was trying to hide.

"Huh?" Yugi said. "I thought I heard Yami's voice. Man, I'm starting to hear things." Yugi said walking outside the door. 

"Thank you so much Yugi." Yami said walking down the stairs. 

Yami grabbed his bag and walked out the door. 

Yami took a different route than the one he usually took. 

He soon got to the school with about 10 minutes to spare. 

He decided to go see his teachers early. 

All the teachers told him the same that he didn't miss anything important and all he had to do was do the work he missed. 

Soon the bell rang everyone had to go to class. His first class he had with Seto and the others. His heart started to beat fast. He felt like it was going to pop out of his chest. He was so nervous.

"Good-morning class." The teacher said. 

"Yami Mouto has finally come to class today. Try to help him out if he has any problems."

  It was already morning and he wanted to leave. Time passed slowing. He felt like everyone behind him was staring at him and they **_were._**

Yami looked back seeing Seto looking straight into his eyes. Seto smiled, but Yami turn around quickly.

'Ok it was just your imagination.' Yami said trying to convince himself it was his imagination. 

"Ok, class time to do you project. I will put you in pairs. First pair Joey and Yugi, Yami and Seto, Anzu and Malik, Honda and Duke, Ryou and Bakura, Marik and Mokuba." (In this story I made them all the same age.)  

The teacher called all the pairs and assigned a project to each pair. 

Today was block schedule so they had two hours to practically finish the project.

'OMG, what am I going to do. I'm stuck with Seto for 2 hours!' Yami screamed in his mind.

"This is fate, Yami. You and I are meant to be together." Seto chuckled.

"Umm…" Was all Yami could say.

Seto and Yami were assigned a computer project; since they aced the Computer test 2 weeks ago.

"Seto, Yami, go to the computer room and do your project. I know you would do an outstanding project to show the class."

"Come back in 2 hours. Not sooner or later, ok boys."

"Yes…Sensei." They said bowing and walked into the hallway. 

"Let's forget the project. We can do it later at my house. Come on lets go do something _fun_, like we used to do." Seto said with a smirk. Yami knew exactly what he meant and blushed.

 "You're so cute, Yami." He said leaning over and kissing him. Yami pulled away.

"Seto…umm I don't think that we should do this." Seto and Yami were now walking side by side.

"Come on, Yami. Let's make up. So I made a stupid mistake. Joey wasn't as good as you. Come on, Yami." Seto turned his head to see Yami.

Yami was already going to open the door to the computer room. Seto ran pushed the nearly open door close and leaned his body weight on the door, so Yami couldn't open it. He turned Yami over making him face him. Now Yami was in the middle of Seto's arms.

"Listen, Yami. Let's make up. Let's stop this suffering. I love you and I know that you still love."

He said kissing him.

"Seto…I can…I can't. I'm not worth loving. I said so much horrible things to everyone." Yami said in tears.

"I don't care. No one cares that you said horrible things. We all still love you." Seto said hugging Yami.

"No…stop it." Yami pushed him and opened the door. He looked around the room seeing a sign in the front desk saying. 'Computer teacher not here today. Feel free to use the computers.'

Yami was all alone with Seto in the room!

"Yami…listen, I'm not going to wait 9 days for you to listen. I'm gonna make you listen now."

"Seto…" Yami said fearful.

"Yami…I love you so much. I can't take it when you say you hate me. I don't want to be hated by you. You are everything to me. I'm sorry I made a mistake. I was drunk that night. I didn't know who I fucked. Yami you got to believe me." Seto said getting closer to Yami.

"Seto…"

"Yami…."he said looking at the ground.

"Seto…l-look at m-me." Yami shudder. 

Seto looked up tears ran down his face. 

"Seto…"

*Flashback*

~freshmen year~

Yami's POV

It's now September, the school years going fast. I made new friends. Everyone seems to be close, except one person. That person's name is Seto Kaiba. Everyone says he's cold and mean. I really want to get to know him better. He's so HOT! I know it's weird to think that but he is. I really want to know him. I want to get up close and personal with him. I'm on my way to where he

hangs out after school. He hangs behind the school near the old big tree. 

It was dark today because the clouds cover the suns rays.

Sometimes go and watch him from afar, but not this time. I'm gonna talk to him. 

"There he is. Today I can't see his face. I wonder what's a matter." 

I walked toward the tree and tapped him on the shoulder. His eyes shot open and he turned around. Tears were streaming down his face. 

~Cry~

I'll always remember 

It was late afternoon

It lasted forever

And ended so soon (yeah)

You were all by yourself

Staring at the dark grey sky

I was changed

*chorus*

In places no one would find

All you feeling so deep inside (deep inside)

Was there I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry (cry)

The moment I saw you cry

It was late in September 

And I've seen you before (and you were)

You were always the cold one

But I was never sure

You were all by yourself 

Staring at the dark grey sky

I was changed

In places no one would find

All you feeling so deep inside (deep inside)

Was there I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you 

I wanted to make it go away

I wanted to know you

I wanted to make your everything…all right

I'll always remember 

It was late afternoon

In places no one would find

In places no one would find

All you feeling so deep inside (deep inside)

(Forever was in your eyes)

Was there I realized

That forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you cry (cry)

Baby…cry

The moment I saw you cry

Oh no no

I think I saw you cry

The moment I saw you cry

*fade out*

I wanted to know you

I wanted to know you

I wanted to know you

~Cry End~

 'This is the coldest person in school. I wan to hold him

No he's no cold at all.' I thought.

"What do you want." He said.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"You better not tell anyone you saw me crying."

"I promise I won't tell if I can hold you."

"What?!"

"DEAL?"

"Mm…ok."

We stood there talking and holding each other under the dark grey sky for hours. 

*Flashback ending*

"You better not tell anyone you saw me crying."

"Seto…I promise I won't tell if I can hold you."

"Yes… Yami please hold me."

"Seto I love you so much."

"I love you too Yami."

They kissed and kissed over and over again.

"Seto... I'm sorry." Yami said through kisses.

"I'm sorry, too." 

Seto's arm found his was up Yami's shirt, his hand roaming Yami's chest.

Yami's POV

He pressed his lips on mine. His hand searched all my body looking, longing for that place below my waist. I am acting like I was an innocent virgin, being touched for the first time. Still, kissing our tongues battled in each other mouth. We parted grasping for air. He started to take his clothes off then mine. He took his shirt off and started to unzip his pants. His long legs came out of his pants. He wears boxers and so do I. Now, that we are now naked our bodies pressed against each others bare skin.  His lips were soft. His body warm. The heat of our bodies together was over whelming heat. His lips lowering and lowering down my body, starting from my lips and now on my neck and still going lower. This feeling; the feeling I hadn't felt for a long time since we parted. His handing still roaming my body, touch every inch of my body. I sat on the table in put me on. I sat there eyes closed, moaning slightly. My breath shorten I was really enjoying this and so was he. My lips quivered at the feeling of his mouth kissing my navel. The heat of his lips was greater than his body. I felt like I as in hell, but yet in heaven. He knew what to do and how to do it. He's remarkable. He is now below my waist. My breath quicken. Hi mouth kissing and no opening to let my erect member, in his hot mouth. His mouth pulling in and out was more overwhelming than the heat of our bodies together. I grabbed the nearest object, which were the side ends of the table.

"You like it don't you." He said.

I couldn't say a word. All I could do was moan. This was a yes to Kaiba. I arched my back so my member could go deeper in his mouth. He pulled out after a while of giving me a really awesome blowjob. As he pulled out saliva strings hanged to his mouth and my member. 

"Don't stop now." I said like I was moaning that sentence out.

"But I have to or else you will come too quickly." He said with a smirk. 

"Don't be a tease." It was like I was under his spell. I was longing for him to be in me. I didn't want him to stop it was like I was floating in the sky. It felt so good. He started to play with my right nipple, teasing me by biting it softly then pulling away.

"But it's fun." He answered. 

He was handsome and had beautiful blue eyes. I just wanted to look at his face all day, but this pleasure is too much to give up now. He stopped playing with my nipple. He distracted me with a passionate kiss, as he slipped one finger in me. He didn't use lube because we didn't have any. So he used his saliva. Not that I mind or anything. I flinched at the feeling.

"Does it hurt?" 

"No." I still had my eyes closed. 

"Then I'm going to put the 2nd finger in. Okay?"

"OK, I'm ready."

He pulled out his 1st finger. He stuck both fingers in his mouth then mine. He slid them in really fast. I moaned loudly. My lips quivered again as he slid his fingers in and out of me faster then before. I loved him and he loved me. Our promise was to always love each other no matter what. I know it will always be this way. His tongue in my mouth our tongues battled for control. He took out his two fingers and slid three back in. I screamed and tiny scream. I know I done this before, but it still kinda hurt. 

Kaiba POV

He's still tight. I know he's enjoying this much more then me. I loved seeing him this way. His lips shined with sweat. I so wanted to kiss him. I lowered my head to his, and kissed his red lips. 

I fasten my speed sliding in and out faster then before. He moaned out loudly making my member faster and longer. Seeing him in so much pleasure made me horny, but knowing I'm giving him this pleasure made me hornier. I slid my fingers in once more then pulled them out. 

"I'm going to stick in my member, ok." 

He nodded with his eyes still closed, I pushed in him. He screamed and 'ahhh'. 

Yami's POV

He trusted into me. I screamed and shot open my eyes. Tears coming out of my eyes. 

"Does it hurt a lot?" He asked.

"Kinda." 

"I'll stop if you want."

"No, don't." 

"Don't worry I wouldn't even if you asked now." He said kissing me. 

He thrusted into me. More tears came out of my eyes. The pain I felt became pleasure. I couldn't stop moaning. I arched my back letting him in deeper. We were all sweating. Drops of sweat fell from put heads and bare naked bodies. We kissed and kissed. 

"I'm coming!" I yelled. 

"Me too!" He said trusting into me harder hitting that special spot in me. I moaned as loud as I could. I cummed in Kaiba's mouth. He cummed inside me. It ended after that. He was on top of me. We were panting. We looked into each others eyes. 

"I love you, Yami."

"I love you, Seto."

"Hey Yami, Are we still n school." He said looking around." 

"Shit, we are."

He pulled out and got off of me.

He put on his clothes on quickly and so did I.

"I can't believe we forgot we were in school." He said.

"It was your fault. You got carried away. Now we can't get into class. Well, I won't go to class with cum dripping out of my ass." I said.

"We then let's not go."

"What?" 

"Let's ditch."

"We're going to get trouble, Kaiba."

"That's if we get caught, but we won't."

"Okay. I'm trusting you."

"Okay. Let's go."

We went to the window across the room and opened it. 

We heard footsteps coming toward the room in the hallway. 

I couldn't lift my leg up the window shed. Kaiba lifted me up so I could get out the window. He followed after me.

"Wasn't that exciting." Kaiba said. 

"Yes, it was. But let's go to your house." 

But Yami had forgotten one piece of what he was wearing. Yami had forgotten his right shoe.

MEANWHILE IN THE SCHOOL

"Where the hell did they go?!" Yugi and Joey asked each other.

Chapter End

~ thanks for reading. Sorry for the long wait. It was kinda short don't you think.*LEMON* 

Yes, I hoped you liked it. NINA Y 


	4. Painful things

**The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.**

**A/N: Sorry that I took a long time. This is for all of my reviewers and friends. **

**Chapter 4: Painful things**

At Yugi's house

"Where could he be? Why would he leave with only one shoe? I bet Kaiba kidnapped him. I know he did."

"Yami probably was struggling and didn't want to listen to Kaiba, so Kaiba knocked him out and had his way with him." Yugi said imagining it in his head.

"No, that couldn't happen. I really have to stop reading x-rated yaoi and shoujo manga." Yugi laughed and shook his head.

"Why does Yami like him more than me? Why? Haven't I been a good friend to him and helped him emotionally and physically? He never pays attention to me anymore. Kaiba is too important to him now. After everything Kaiba did Yami still ditched school with him and had sex. That's good no teachers or students were out in the hall way and that there's no classes near the computer room or they would be in trouble. Could Yami even moan any louder than that. Sheesh they both are assholes." Yugi said laying down on his bed in his room. Yugi was throwing up a rainbow swirled ball as he was thinking aloud. Yami's bed is just across from Yugi's bed. Their room had dark black walls covered with posters of their favorite singers. Yugi looked at his book case that was in the middle of their beds. It is filled with doujinshi and his favorite manga.

Yugi was mad because Yami never paid attention to him. He hates Kaiba. He threw the ball higher and harder once more into the air. The ball twirled as it hit the ceiling coming down twice as fast and hard when it hit the ceiling. It came down and hit Yugi's head.

"Dammit!" Yugi cursed.

Yugi rolled on his stomach so he could put his face in his pillow. Yugi had put on a cd earlier that he loved to hear. When he was sad or mad he would lock himself in his room.

And hear his favorite song over and over. The cd that is paying is a burn cd. It had some of Utada Hikaru, Yuri Chika, Ayumi Hamasaki and BOA songs. He loved their songs. Right now Utada Hikaru "Traveling" was on. Yugi sobbed in his pillow. He kicked his extra black covers on to the floor.

"I love you Yami."

"But I think I hate you more," he yelled tears streaming from his eyes. He stood up on his bed and grabbed his pillow that he was just sobbing in and threw it at a picture of Yami.

Yugi couldn't help the tears that were coming out of his big violet eyes. Yugi jumped of his bed and went to go pick up his picture.

I can't hate you. I'm sorry."  He said kissing Yami's picture.

He walked to his red stereo that was on his desk near the door. He took out the silver cd and put another one in but this one had english love songs. Now his favorite song started playing.

For All Time

You've been the first in my life   
who had ever made me feel this way

And I will not deny

I'm gonna need you right here by my side

Baby I can't wait

(Come and hold my hand and let me lead the way)

Let me take your breath away

(By holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)

Never will be too late

( see myself through your eyes)

Baby I can't wait

(till the day I hear you say)

You are mine

There's no other one for me

Keep in mind

You make my life complete

And tonight

We'll make love endlessly

Cuz your mine

You'll the on I'll keep for all time

Now that you're here boy

I'm never gonna let you go

Can I touch you there boy

Do you mind if we kiss really slow

You're my everything

You're my hopes and dreams

Baby, you know it ain't no lie

I'm gonna be with you till the day I die

Baby I can't wait

(Come and hold my hand and let me lead the way)

Let me take your breath away

(By holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)

Never will be too late

( see myself through your eyes)

Baby I can't wait

(no no till the day I hear you say)

You are mine

There's no other one for me

Keep in mind

You make my life complete

And tonight

We'll make love endlessly

Cuz your mine

You'll the on I'll keep for all time

You're the one that lights my fire

You're the one that keeps me strong

You're the one that I depend on

When my world going wrong

You're the one that I hold closer

You're the man I'm dreaming of

And I really really love you

I just want you to know that

You are mine

There's no other one for me

Keep in mind

You make my life complete

And tonight

We'll make love endlessly

Cuz your mine

You'll the on I'll keep for all time

I can't wait till the day

I hear you say

You're the one I need

You're the one that I'll keep

For all time

For All Time End

After Yugi sang his favorite song that reminds him of Yami, he walked to his bed and laid down. He started to cry because he knows Yami would never have that kind of feelings for him.

"I think I should just sleep. Yes, I love sleeping. When I sleep I don't have to see them together. In sleep I could dream of us together. There my desires and hopes come true. I don't have to face harsh reality. I could live in my little world." Yugi said closing his eyes.

"I wish I had eternal sleep." Yugi said tears streaming from his now swollen eyes. He smiled a sad weak smile knowing that when he does wake up reality will smack him in the face.

"Yugi, I'm home!" A voice shouted from down stairs.

"Yami's home. I thought he would not come after that fight we had. Maybe he doesn't remember. I won't bring it up." He said jumping up in bed and getting up.

"Yugi, you there?" Yami said coming up the stairs. Yugi panicked. He had been crying a lot.  If Yami saw him now he would be asking what happen. He didn't want Yami to know.

Yugi rushed to the door locking it. Yami turned the knob on the now locked door.

"Yugi, open this door now!" Yami demanded.

"No, I'm busy! I won't let you in."

"What's a matter with you voice? Have you been crying?"

"No! Go Away! I won't open the door."

"Ok then be that way, Yugi!"  Yami shouted going down stairs.

Yugi sobbed on his bed. Yami went up the stairs with his room key quietly.

He quickly stuck the key in and opens the door.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, I beat you." Yami said scanning the room for Yugi. There on Yugi's bed was Yugi shocked that he was in the room. Yugi didn't remember that Yami had a key. Yugi stared at Yami with his face full of tears.

"Yugi…I…what's…a matter?" Yami said with concern going to Yugi.

"Don't look at me!" Yugi shouted turning his face away from Yami's.

Yami got closer and touched Yugi's head.

"Don't touch me!"  He barked.

Yami sat on his bed.

"Don't cry Yugi. I'm sorry." Yami said in a gentle voice and turned Yugi's head so he was looking at him now.

"Don't cry, Yugi. I'm sorry." He said again wiping his tears away with his finger.

"Yami…"

"Yes…"

"I love you…."

"I love you too Yugi."  Yami said with a smile.

"………"  Yugi didn't know what to say. Yami didn't know what he was meaning.

"Were you worried that I didn't love you anymore because I had Kaiba?"

Yugi nodded in response.

"I will always love you Yugi." Yami said holding Yugi hand.

"No, I don't love you as a friend. I love you as more than one."

A bag fell to the floor by the door.

"What are you doing, Yami?!"

"Kaiba?" Yugi and Yami said shocked.

"I heard you Yugi! Get away from Yami! He's mine!"

Yami let go of Yugi's hand and walked over to Kaiba.

"Calm down Kaiba. He didn't mean it right, Yugi." Yami said holding Kaiba back then  looking at Yugi.

"No I meant it, YAMI. I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anything in this world." Yugi shout tears coming down.

"Why you little…." Kaiba said pushing Yami to the floor and  walking to Yugi.

"You Asshole!" Kaiba said grabbing Yugi by the neck and holding him up in the air over his bed.

"Yami help me. I'm scared. He wants to kill me!" Yugi shouted.

"He's mine Yugi."

Yami pushed Kaiba down. Kaiba released his grip on Yugi as he fell to the ground.

"You ok Yugi." He said putting his hand on Yugi's back. Yugi touched his neck softly while he coughed.

Yami turned to Kaiba.

"Seto, I'm sorry but you were hurting Yugi." He said with concern.

"It's ok Yami…but let's go. NOW!" Kaiba said angrily.

"But I can't leave Yugi. I won't leave him. You hurt him."

Kaiba grabbed Yami's arm and pulled him out of the room.

"Yugi, I'll be back I promise."

Yugi got up quickly and ran down stairs after Kaiba.

"Let Yami go. He didn't do any thing to you. I'm the one who you should be mad at!"

"Shut up Yugi. You're just gonna make it worst." Yami said worried for Yugi's safe being.

"You backstabber, Yami."

Kaiba pushed Yami into the car and looked at Yugi.

"He'll never love you, Yugi." He said getting in the car and French kissing Yami in front of him.

Then they drove off leaving a broken hearted Yugi.

Moments later at the Kaiba house

"Seto stop pulling me it hurts."

"If this hurts you wait until we get inside."

"Stop Seto you're scaring me!"

Seto ignore Yami's comment and dragged him into his house. 

Seto picked up Yami climbing up the steps to his room.

After many steps they finally got there. Yami had a worried look on his face.

"Seto why…why are we here?" Yami said scared.

"Who do you love more Yami? Me or Yugi?! Give me an answer!" He said pushing Yami on the bed.

"I love you more Seto."

"Then show me." He said getting on top of Yami and kissing him.

"Stop Seto. I don't want to have sex right now."

"What? You don't want to have sex with me? You don't love me?!"

" No, I'm not saying that. I do love you . I'm not in the mood. Seto you're scaring me."

"Shut up Yami." He said kissing Yami's neck at taking off Yami's shirt off.

"Stop Seto!" He said trying to push him off.

Yami's POV

"Stop Seto!" I cried.

I tried to push him of but I couldn't. He took off my shirt already.

'No…' I scream in my head.

"Stop Seto…I beg you.." I pleaded but he didn't.

"I'll show you never to say no to me. I love you Yami."

He said ripping of my pants. The only thing that is between us is our underwear. He had managed to take off all his clothes quick.

He ripped my underwear and his off, so our bodies were now bare. I couldn't help but cry and be scared. I know it is gonna hurt.

"Seto...please…..stop." I cried.

"No…I'll show you I love you more than him."

He thrusted into me with out any preparations or a lot of lube.

'Stop…" I could only say but that would make him go faster and harder.

It hurt. It hurt like hell. I felt my body tense up.

'Don't tense, don't tense.' I told myself.

He pulled out of me and flipped me over so my head was on the bed. He wiped some more lube on and stuck his member in me. He pushed into me harder. He went in and out faster than in the other position.

I screamed in pain. All I heard in response was a chuckle that escaped his lips. I could feel his breath on my back. I could feel his body heat on mine. I cried more. He leaned to my ear and said "I told you I loved you more than him."

He was mad that's why he's doing this to me. I know it's all my fault. He flipped me over again now making me face him. His face was all sweaty. He had a smirk on his face. He pushed my legs upper making my back arch so it wouldn't hurt me that much.

He leaned to my face and kissed my lips then said, "you never liked this kind of sex."

I wished it would just be over. He pushed in once more into me then pulled out leaving his sperm in me. I looked at the sheet that I was laying on and sat up seeing blood on them. I had started bleeding. I know he didn't care because I know he liked the site of me in pain just this once. He walked to the mirror in the front of the bed.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say. He walked out of the room not saying anything not even looking at me. He left me in his room alone.

'I never meant to hurt you. This pain I can't bare. Why do I always have to bare this pain alone? No one has ever loved me. I was always alone. I'm so sorry that I hurt you.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm really real or not. Am I just someone in someone's dream? Am I Someone who would be deleted whenever some ones wish. These tears are just a symbol of weakness. Its sight it horrible. I try not to cry. I try not to be mean. I always ended up being cold. I always ended up alone. I tried to be like everyone, but friends come and go. They betray you call you backstabbers and hate you. That's why I trust no one. I live with these self inflicted scars on me. Slit wrist scars always will be there. I'm good for nothing. I'm good for nothing! I'm only good to cause people pain and suffering. These scars in my body will heal but not the ones unseen. I try to forget but every thing just comes back. I want to forget my past but yet remember. I know that I not worth anything to anyone. I'm worthless. I even cut myself just to feel pain to know if I'm even real. I'm a sick person.' Was all I thought when I was in that room, till I cried myself to sleep.

Morning

Normal POV

Yami opened his eyes only to look into Mokuba's which was staring at his.

"You look a lot like Yugi. Can I kiss ya? I like Yugi. He very nice. Are you going to school today? Don't worry Seto left. I'm sorry he hurt you. He's just jealous." Mokuba said.

"It hurts." Yami said in pain.

"Are you going to school?"

"Yea."

"Let's take the limo! I need to go to school too."

School

Yami walked quietly through the halls think to himself. 'You backstabber Yami!' 'He'll never love you, Yugi.' 'Stop Seto!' Those sentences repeated over and over in his head.

He looked at the floor while he was walking. He tired to smile as hard as he could, but he couldn't. Yami just sighed to himself and walked till he bumped into the person he didn't want to see right now.

"Seto…" Yami said looking up from the ground and at his face.

"Yami….listen I have to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" Yami said in a small sad tone.

"Let's break up. Our relationship won't work out. We only hurt each other." Seto said looking at his face.

"I…" Yami's world just hit rock bottom. Not only did his love rape him, but now he's breaking up with him for a stupid misunderstanding. Yami could forgive him for the other thing but not this. He tried to hard to forgive him this morning and he dumps him like a piece of shit. What will he do now? Will he say what he truly feels or let his love of his life walk away?

To be continued

A/N: I know that was a really short chapter and it sucked. Yes I know that I barely got them back to together and now look what happened. Poor Yami I still have so much in store for you. If at least 2 people review I'll post chapter 5 by this WEEKEND. I PROMISE. I'm sorry about the rape scene, I know it sucked and I rewrote it so many times, I just put this one.  If you're wondering Why Mokuba said that, yes he likes Yugi. I had to make him an important chapter because something happens in the next chapter that involves him. Now PLEASE REVIEW. Tell me what you hate tell me what you like.

Now to the people who reviewed my story in chapter 3,

My friends: thank you for reading it.

catey : I promise I'll keep writing

Iceman619: Thank you so much

AnimeLvr: Thank you too. I will continue.

Kero: You not getting some

Kawaii Chibi Yami: Sorry I hurt yami a lot. Hehehhe their my fav couple too.


	5. Too much pain to Handle

**The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.**

A/N: Just as I promised. Here it is. I was writing this when I was listening to Gackt "Lust For Blood" and L'arc-en-ciel- "Neo Universe." I encourage you people to buy their CDS they are awesome. Also to buy Glay and x-Japan. Well its Monday, May 31, 2004; still the weekend for me. So I'll post it today. Just so you people know this chapter won't be happy.

To my reviews on chapter 4.

Kero-chan- thanks

Iceman619- thanks again. I also think the Yugi is like that. HEHEHE

Kawaii Chibi Yami - Hehehe I love Yami angst too!

Darker Light - thanks. I won't change.

AnimeLvr – I'm sorry. Don't cry.

To my reviewers I love to hear what you like and all. Thanks

Chapter 5: Too Much Pain to Handle

"Let's break up. Our relationship won't work out. We only hurt each other." Seto said looking at his face.

"I…" Yami's world just hit rock bottom. Not only did his love rape him, but now he's breaking up with him for a stupid misunderstanding. Yami could forgive him for the other thing but not this. He tried to hard to forgive him this morning and he dumps him like a piece of shit.

"Hahahahaha…" Yami laughed.

"You got to be kidding me. To end our relationship after everything you put me through last night and for a stupid thing. Its not like I slept with Yugi, all I fuckin' did was hold he hand and comfort him. Not like you; you fuckin' FUCKED Joey. Damn! Why do you have to be so fuckin' jealous?! That's your stupid weakness; you get too jealous over stupid things!"

"Yami calm down. I know I might be stupid be I won't allow someone like you to cheat on me!"

"Some one like me? What's that suppose to fuckin mean?!" Yami said shouting.

"I mean someone who fuckin pretends to love someone, but loves someone else!"

"O yea right! If I fuckin loved Yugi I would be with him and not you! You don't even know me that well even though we were together for about 3 years. Since the end of our first year in High school. And now look at us. I guess we aren't meant to be together. You're so right all we do if fuckin hurt each other. I think we should never see each other again. So if you leave me now it's the end of everything. The end of our friendship, love and hope. I just can't understand what goes through your head anymore. I thought I knew what you were feeling; what went through your head and heart. I guess I was just tricking myself. I was just telling myself everything was gonna be ok. That we will be together forever, but forever is a long time. It might not even exist. I was being stupid and ignoring the signs. I just hoped that you would love me back like I loved you. But I was so wrong. So leave and don't come to me anymore because we have no reason to. It's over. You wanted it to be over so it's over. Just leave." Yami said now turned away from Seto so his back was facing him. Yami took out a pack of cigarettes that he had brought early. I open the new pack and took one thin white cigarette out and put it in his parted lips. Yami took out his green lighter and lit his cigarette. He puffed it and blew out exhaled the smoke.

"Well, leave."

"Yami, stop smoking you're going to get sick." Seto said putting his hand on his shoulder.

"What I do is none of your concern now!" Yami push his cigarette on Seto's shoulder. Putting it out.

"Ow, why the fuck did you do that?!"

"Later, Kaiba." Yami said walking away waving his hand at him with his back still turn to Seto.

Yami walked down the hall lighting another cigarette. He laughed to himself. He always laughed to hind his pain.

He walked looking out side the side windows on the wall of the school.

"Yami!" He heard a familiar voice call.

"What Yugi?" He said already recognizing the voice.

"We need to talk."

"Like I said before what."

"Well, if you stop walking maybe I could talk to you."

"Maybe I don't want to listen."

"You are a backstabber Yami."

"Me? A Backstabber? Hahahahahaha. Come one Yugi. Last time I checked I fuckin saved you from an angry Kaiba! And now I'm a Fuckin BACKSTABBER!" Yami said stopping and throwing his cigarette at Yugi.

"When did you start smoking? I lived with you and I didn't know you smoked."

"Well, you were never there. You always left to be with Joey because you thought I was with Kaiba 24/7. I was always home, meanwhile you played duel monsters with that stupid blonde. And you had the nerve to say you loved me when you knew it would just break up my relationship with Seto. You don't love me. I'm just an important friend you don't want to let go of. All you just want is to have someone to say I love you to. You like the idea of being in love but you just love the idea your not sure if you're ready to be in love. You just don't want to be lonely. I know you very well Yugi. So if you don't want me to be with Seto, so you won't lose me. But guess what where ever we are even if we are apart, we will still be together. So stop being a snotty little brat."

"But I do love you Yami. I do."

"Stop lying. Then why do you want to move out."

"How do you know? I didn't tell anyone other then…"

"Joey. Next time don't talk to loud."

"But…I do…I do love you…"

"Like I said stop lying. Later Yugi. I got things to think about. And congrates Seto and I are over. I hope you're happy."

"Yami…I'm still leaving."

"Go ahead."

Yami walked away from Yugi not saying another word. He had it with everyone.

Time passed and it was lunch already. He went where all his "friends" and he hanged.

They all laid down on the ground not saying a word.

"What's with you guys?" Yami asked.

"Nothing…just don't have anything to talk about." Joey said looking at the sky.

"Well then I should leave. I rather be alone."

"Later Yami…" They said.

Yami walked to the place where he first talked to Seto. He sat at the base of the tree.

"What happened? Why did it end like this? Too much questions but never enough answers. What happen to our friendship? Now all we do is call each other back stabbers. It hurts. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I just want to make everything the same as it was before. Then no more pain or sorrow." Yami said, but this time he wasn't the only one to bare the pain alone. There were two others.

"I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I don't! I was so in love with him. But once he said that I didn't love him, I couldn't hold back these feelings I hid inside of me for so long. I loved him, I trusted him. I want everything to be back as it was. I want him to love me." Yami said holding back the tears.

"I won't cry for him no more." He already had a cigarette lit to smoke right away. He inhaled and exhaled the smoke. The bell rang not to long ago but he didn't care. He smoked when he had stress or when he was sad/mad.

"So you're ditching class to smoke. Shame on you Yami." A soft of tall brunet said looking at Yami. Yami didn't say a word he just kept smoking.

"I heard you and Seto broke up. Sorry about that."

"I don't need you pity."

"Are you sad?"

"No…what's it to you anyways?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering. You're not going to try and commit suicide again, are you?"

"No, he's not worth it."

"So now you're single."

"Yeah…"

"Wanna give me a try."

"Yami huffed another puff of smoke into his mouth.  
Anzu walked fast up to Yami and kissed him.

Meanwhile at the second story window of the school were 3 friends of Anzu watching her kiss Yami.

"Hehehe she did it." One girl said.

"I can't believe it. What a slut! She knows he barely broke up with Kaiba." The other said.

"His lost…every girl wants Yami." The blonde girl said.

"My lost…. Huh…"

"Kaiba…I…we…mean…look…"The blonde girl said pointing at Anzu and Yami kissing.

Yami exhaled the smoke that was in his mouth into Anzu's.

"Yea…right. I'm heartbroken not desperate." Yami said getting up. He turned to look at the window where Seto was standing. He licked his lips at him then leaving.

"You guys are broken up, right?" One girl said.

"Yea…" Seto said walking away.

Meanwhile with Yugi

'You don't love me. I'm just an important friend you don't want to let go of. All you just want is to have someone to say I love you to. You like the idea of being in love but you just love the idea your not sure if you're ready to be in love. You just don't want to be lonely.' Yugi thought.

"I'm not in love. He's right." Yugi said with a sigh.

"Hey Yugi!" Mokuba said handing a soda to Yugi.

"Ditching too."

"Yea…class is boring."

"Are you sad?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You look so sad Yugi. What's a matter?"

"Nothing…."

"You sure…."

"Yea…it's just Yami said so many things about me I didn't even know." Tears ran down his face.

"Yugi…."Mokuba was holding Yugi.

"He was so right. I don't love him. He's just an important friend. I was just lying to myself. I just want someone to love me and that I could say I love you to." Yugi said crying.

"I...love you Yugi." Mokuba said looking at Yugi in the face.

"Stop kidding with me. I'm serious."

"So am I. look I'll tell you I love you in 3 more different languages. Je T'aime, Te Amo and Aishiteru. "

"Mokuba…I didn't know."

"I was afraid you wouldn't love me back. Please Yugi love me back." Mokuba said looking down.

"Mokuba…I will." Yugi said kissing him.

It was Mokuba's first kiss. He didn't know how to kiss. He pressed his lips hand on Yugi's. He pushed Yugi onto the floor, still kissing him.

"I promise I will never hurt you like Seto hurt Yami…"

"What!? How did he hurt Yami?!"

"Damn…I forgot…I wasn't suppose to say anything." Mokuba said sitting up and putting his hand on his head.

"Tell me Mokuba."

"Well, last night when Seto pulled Yami in the house. They went straight to his room. He pushed Yami onto the bed. And forced him to have sex with him. I was in shock…I couldn't stop him. Yami was crying and yelling for him to stop but he wouldn't. I didn't know what I could do, so I didn't do anything but watch. I'm sorry Yugi."

"Poor Yami…I made him go through so much pain. It's all my fault."

"No…it's not."

"But it is…I know it is. I'm so stupid!"

"Mokuba…what am I suppose to do."

"Forget…just forget…"

"But…I can't…"

"Just love me and everything will be ok. I promise."

8 months past

Yugi had moved out and Mokuba had moved out of his house. Now Mokuba and Yugi lived together.

Yami was out smoking and drinking at a parlor. He was raining tonight. He started to walk home. He couldn't forget about the things that happened in the past months.

He wondered about how Yugi and Mokuba were, but mostly about Seto. He still loved him. It wasn't easy to forget about someone you love.

'But guess what where ever we are even if we are apart, we will still be together.'

"That's so true. Even if I don't want to be near him. I'm always with him, even though it's no physically. You and I were still one. We both still have all of each other. I still loved you as a friend Yugi"

Yami got to his house and went up to the room that he once shared with Yugi.

My Immortal by Evascence

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childhood fears

If you have to leave

I wish that you will just leave

Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

Chorus 1

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chorus 2

You cried I wiped a way all of your tears

You screamed I fight a way all of your fears

I held your hand through of these years

You still have all of me

You used to captivate me

Bu you resonating mind

Now I'm bounded by the life you left behind

You face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

You cried I wiped a way all of your tears

You screamed I fight a way all of your fears

I held your hand through of these years

You still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But thought you're still with me

I've been alone all along

You cried I wiped a way all of your tears

You screamed I fight a way all of your fears

I held your hand through of these years

You still have all of me

Me ahh me ahh me

END SONG

"I miss you, Yugi but I miss Seto more. O Seto…I still love you. Seto come to me."

Tears came down from Yami's eyes.

At Seto's house

"Yami, what are you doing now. I wonder. I wish I was with you. I'm so stupid. I can't believe I believed stupid Joey that Yugi liked Yami. I should have ignored him that day and left. But Yami left his bag and since Joey said that to me outside of their house I thought it was true. I'm so stupid."

"Aishiteru, Yami. I can't stop it." Seto blinked making tears roll out of his sad eyes.

Birdcage by Gackt

Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories

They're still too far for me, filthy as I am now

Inside of the darkness, I called your name over and over again

Inside of the endless time, there's no one but you

I lock myself up, unable to even stone

I can't do anything but pray…my sadness is not cured

I tore off a single damp petal from a hydrangea

It floats in a puddle, and I remember you

In the evening just after the rain, I faintly heard the far off whistle of a ship

For some reason, it made me sad

If I can't be forgiven, then everything can disappear

The sadness and the pain, to the world that doesn't need anything

I lock myself up, unable to even stone

I can't do anything but pray…my sadness is not cured

From the gently crying sky, I also heard your voice

I laughed through the gathering tears, but I couldn't see anything.

Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories

They're still too far for me, filthy as I am now

Inside of the darkness, I called your name over and over again

Inside of the endless time, there's no one but you

End Song

meanwhile with Yugi and Mokuba

They had be out for a long time now. They had barely came from a bar and were laughing like crazy. The weren't drunk because they weren't they for the bar. They were there to have an exiting rush. (Know what I mean.)

"I love you Mokuba."

"I love you, too."

Mokuba and Yugi kissed not looking at the road.

"Watch out!" Yugi yelled.

This little kid was in the middle of the street picking up his ball.

Mokuba swilled to the right missing the kid. The floor was slippery from the rain making the compacted car turn over.

They both yelled. The rain poured down on the now turned over car.

To be continued.

Well what do you think. I know its short. I just couldn't help but put a Gackt song. I love him. Well you know what to do. REVIEW TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER. AND see what happens. Sorry i had 2 songs. I'm sorry for being late in updating. But right now its 12;19 am, so please forgive my misstakes. I looked and read over it so i hope there aren't many. ok LOVE YA ALL. PLEASE REVIEW


	6. Goodbye my love

**The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.**

I'm so sorry it's been more than 2 months. I've been really busy. I'm sorry for making you wait for a long time. Well, I got to go to the ANIME EXPO in Anaheim. YEA! It was awesome. I also had summer school. Bummer. It was for FIVE hours. I also turn 15. Well on with the story. I promise it will be long. Sorry for the long wait again. My Internet was refusing to connect. P.S. I also rewrote many times.

Chapter 6: Goodbye my love

The rain pours hard onto the flipped over car. The tri-color haired boy comes out of the passenger seat of the car injured. He looks around for his love as he gets out of the car.

"Mokuba…" He yells.

The rain hits his head hard. Yugi woggles to the driver's seat.

"Mokuba…" Yugi yells with wide eyes at the sight of Mokuba's bloody body.

"Are you alive, Mokuba! Mokuba open your eyes." Yugi cried.

"Please o please open them. Don't die! Please don't die!!" Tears rapidly came down the bloody faces Yugi. He pulls Mokuba out of the front seat just to see his serious head wound. Yugi holds Mokuba in his arms; his grip tightening every second.

"Mokuba, my love, please open your eyes….."

my last breath by Evanescence

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you

And I'm not afraid (Ooo)

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

"…Y-Yugi…"

"Mokuba, don't die on me!"

cough "I'm….err…sorry Yugi should…have told you that I l…l…love you more cough…often."

"Mokuba please oh please don't go!" Yugi screamed holding him tight.

"It's my entire fault." Yugi cried.

"No, its not."

"Yes it is its all because I asked you to go on this date with me. If I didn't ask I wouldn't have to lose you."

"But I said yes so it's not your fault. It's no bodies fault. It just happens. I was happy I took you from Yami, you were his light and I took you from him. Then you become the brightest light in my life. I love you so much. I'm gonna miss being with you through the seasons. I'll miss touching your skin and kissing your gentle lips."

"I'll miss you, too."

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile thing

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you can hear me

I can taste your tears

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

"Mokuba, I'm sorry….." Tears fell endlessly out of his eyes.

"…I don't want you to die."

"I'm not afraid so you shouldn't be either. Soon I will draw my last breath. My love my phone it was under my seat you should get it and call for help. Tell my brother and the others I love them. Tell my brother that don't be sad; that I died happy. Everything is going to be okay. I wanted my last breath to tell you that…."

"Tell me what Mokuba! Please hang on. Don't leave me here all alone. I won't ever have anyone like you that makes me happy. I can never love any one other than you. .Mokuba you're the only one for me!"

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dream will leave you here

But you still woke and know the truth

No one's there!

Say goodnight

Don't be afraid

Calling me,

Calling me,

As you fade black

Say goodnight

"I…." Yugi was stopped by Mokuba's cold bloody lips.

"Yugi, I know you will love again. Don't be sad. Love someone else. You have a lot of love you give. I know you can. Don't dolt on me, live your life to the fullest. You made me the happiest person in the world and made my life worth living. I'm glade I was even able to love you and be loved by you. Many people love you. I'm glad you chose me. Now don't cry. Be strong for me. Don't cry for me anymore. I love you so much and I always did. I'm happy to die in your arms. I'm glad I met you. Mokuba's cold almost lifeless hand held Yugi's hand tightly."

"I'm glad I met you and loved you too, Moki."

"I…l-l-love…you...Yu-gi…."Mokuba drew his last breath. His hands grip disappeared.

Holding my last breath (don't be afraid)

Safe inside myself (calling me, calling me)

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

Holding my last breath

"Mokuba, I love you too." Yugi shaked his lifeless body.

"Mo…ku…ba…NOooooooooooooooooo!" Yugi yelled crying.

"How can I ever love someone again after I killed the one I loved so deeply?!"

Yugi hugged Mokuba's body. That was the end of there love.

Yugi looked down at Mokuba. He leaned into his face. He laid a gentle kiss on his lips. Rain drops fell on his face and blended with his tears.

"Good night, my love." He laid him on the ground and got up. He walked to the turned over car. He searched for the phone Mokuba talked about.

He dialed Seto Kaiba's number. The phone rang and rang till he picked it up.

"Ahh Mokuba, you finally called me. It's been a long time. I was getting worried. I thought something bad happen to you because I got a band feeling, but hear you are calling me. Mokuba, you there?"

"What…?" he heard the person on the other line crying.

"Mokuba…?"

"Stop saying his name, Kaiba. Mokuba's dead. He just died.." Yugi just heard the phone drop to the ground. Yugi just hung up.

Seto's POV  
"Mokuba is dead…?" Just ran through my head over and over.

'I felt my heart drop and my stomach hurt. I felt empty. My hands were shaking and my head hurting. I knew this feeling but from where. It was the feeling of having no one.

No one at all.

END Seto POV

back to Yugi

Yugi dialed the only other number he knew.

"Yami…" he said into the phone.

"Yes. That's me."

"Yugi….."

"No I'm sorry he doesn't live here anymore. Who's this?"

"Yami..."

"Yes."

"It's...me Yugi…"

Yami smiled, but retreat to a sad smile very fast. Yami knew something must be wrong since they haven't talked since 8 months ago. That night he experienced so much pain , but he had to learn to forgive them because he loved them both.

"Yugi, what's wrong? Did something bad happen? Yami said knowing that something DID happen but still had to make sure.

"Mokuba…"

"Mokuba…?????" Yami said.

'O yeah they were dating. Did they break up?' Yami thought

"He died…….." Yugi started to cry on the phone. The pain just took over him.

"Yugi are you there? Where are you? I'll go pick u up."

"Bye…" Yugi hung up. He couldn't face him after all.

"Oh crap does Seto…..I mean Kaiba know." Yami said sinking to the floor and holding his knees to his chest, his head buried in them. Yami had barely forgot about it and know is came up again. He finally that he had peace but not anymore. He felt so bad. His heart started to hurt unbearably again.

"I keep forgetting he doesn't love me anymore. If I call him he might get mad. I know it."

Yami said getting watery eyes.

"They don't need me. I don't matter to anyone." He said sinking into a deep depression.

Suddenly a knock on the door; Yami ignored it at first, but the knocking got louder. Yami rose to his feet and walked through his lonely house. He opened the door wiping his tears from his eyes. Two arms came from the open door; they wrapped around Yami's waist. His grip was so tight it seemed like if he didn't hold Yami he would die.

"Kaiba! You're here and soakin wet." Yami said pulling him inside of his house.

""Yami, Mokuba is dead....I didn't know who to turn to. I'm….sorry. I just had to run and so I ran and found myself at your house. I stood outside thinking if I should knock. It took me a while to get the strength to know and when I wanted to stop I couldn't….I just kept knocking till you answered." He said letting Yami go.

"I don't have anyone to turn to, Yami. No one but you. But I'll leave if you want me too." Kaiba said walking toward the door.

"No, please don't go I mean….you can stay." Yami said grabbing Seto by the waist. He leaned his head on Seto's Back.

"But…I did many bad things to you eight months ago. I yelled at you, said mean things, didn't believe you, left you alone, ignored you, but worse of all I…raped you. I have no right to ask forgiveness from you. I don't even have a right to even come to you. The last eight months that was all I thought about. I'm really sorry. I was so stupid. I'm not asking you to love me again nor to stop hating me for what I did, but I just can't go on living without letting you know my true feelings." Yami's heart started to pound like crazy.

"I thought about it a lot. I need you to know what my feelings are, because you or I could die any day or any moment and I would regret not letting you know….I love you. I'm sorry I was so stupid. I'm sorry for being jealous and I'm sorry for what I did." Kaiba said turning to Yami with teary eyes.

Yami looked down and said, "Kaiba…its ok. Right now it's not the time to talk about that. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Cause I hurt you and Yugi!" Yami said letting go of Kaiba.

"Don't be stupid, Yami. We were the ones who hurt you."

"Heh, I tried blaming both of you for the pain I am feeling, but I can't put such a blame on you two. I thought about suicide, but when I put a razor to my wrist, I get scared. I see my old scars that are there the pain comes strong. It hurts, but it's funny that I try to forget it but when I think all I think about is what happens those months ago. I lay down to sleep, but I close my eyes; I have nightmares. I cry myself to sleep. I hate myself because I'm weak and that I hurt you and Yugi."

"How did you hurt us?! Tell me Yami because I just don't see how you hurt us! It's not your fault. Its mine! I made everything go wrong! I was the one who force myself on you. I was the one who misunderstood. It's my fault!" Seto screamed

"Seto….its mine. I never paid attention to Yugi's feelings. I just rubbed my feeling for you in his face. He was my light; now that his gone I'm lost in darkness. I hurt him. I'm so lonely. I hate this feeling. I never asked to be born in this horrible world. I never asked to be reborn. I hate life, I don't want to live! Not now, not here. I don't care if I never met everyone. I just don't care anymore. I just want this pain to go away." Yami said looking the floor.

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry you have to feel that way but you're not alone. I feel the same. I think….no I mean I know I still love you. No matter how hard I try to forget you or these feeling for you, I know that you probably don't love or even care for me anymore, but I can't help myself. I was the one who broke up with you; that was stupid of me. When I realized the pain I caused you I couldn't look at you. It hurt sow the pain I caused you, but the worst thing was that I enjoyed it. I couldn't stop myself. I was jealous and I was scared that you would choose Yugi instead of me. I was scared. I'm sorry."

"You know I would never ever pick anyone over you. You meant a lot to me. And if that ever happen it would be 1 out of a billion."

"But I was afraid that he would be that 1in a billion. And it seems like your feelings changed. Since ment is past tense."

"Seto, I…can't be with anyone anymore. All I do is hurt them…." Yami said.

"…and they hurt me." He murmured.

"It's because of me isn't it? You found someone else? Is it one of those?"

"Seto, its not you …it's…"

"Don't give that 'its not you it's me' Bullshit!"

"I'm not! You didn't even let me finish my fucking sentence!" I was going to say its not you its just I don't feel up to any kind of a relationship Right now we are just friends and I'll stand by your side and help you with the pain for Mokuba's death."

"So its over, we can't ever have our old relationship back, can we? It's because what I did; you're scared of me. You hate me. You see me as a monster. But we all make

mistakes. And now you can't forgive me? You're the first person I loved. You're the first person who cared for me. You didn't care if I had money or that I was good looking; you didn't even care if we had sex or not. You just wanted me, not because I owed my own company. I was so happy and it seemed you were too, but I ruined everything. I ruin our relationship and your friendship with Yugi. I ruin ours lives. That's all I'm good for."

"Seto that's not true." Yami grabbed Seto by his shoulders.

"Yes it is. I need you to love me Yami. I need to have you by my side, hate grows fast, and now that you hate me I see no reason to live anymore. I can't blame you. I just wanted to be loved by the person who loved me, again. But I should be thankful that I had the chance to experience undying love, but undying love is something hard to forget. But it's undying. I'm greedy, selfish and inconsiderate of people's feelings. I always want to get what I want. I don't care what the other person is thinking or feeling, as long as it's not me feeling the pain. But with you its different, I rather carry the burden and feel the pain then have you feel it. I always push people away, but you stood there and held my hand; you never let go no matter how hard I pushed you away. Please don't let it go now.

I was thinking when were we're apart about the promise we made and you said that maybe forever was just too long. You were wrong, forever is not just too long, and it's too short. Even though no one ever asks to be born, things happen. You were born because you have a destiny to fulfill; you met a lot of people and felt many emotions other than sorrow. Sometime you feel pain but it will go way soon. I promise. That's the reason I'm glad I was born. Because I got to meet the greatest person in the world and I felt the greatest feeling, even though it didn't last long. I don't care as long as I got to experience it. I love you Yami and I'm sorry if I ever said other wise." Seto said putting his hands on Yami's cheek. They lips met in a passionate kiss. Seto pulled away and looked deep into his ex-lovers tear filled violet eyes and smiled a weak sad smile.

"Seto…."

"Shh…I understand." Tears slid from the eyes of Yami.

Yami looked at Seto's blue eyes with his burred vision.

"Seto…" Yami hiccupped.

Seto wiped away his tears and place a small gentle kiss on his lips.

Yami closed his eyes as he embraced the gentle kiss. Their lips parted as they looked at each other's eyes, searching for the answers the longed for. Seto embraced Yami tightly, their bodies press together.

"Seto…I…I…."

Suddenly some music began to play. They pulled apart form each other. Yami ran to the table and grabbed his cell phone, the cause of the music. He answered his phone ending the pleasant melody.

"Moshi Moshi."

"Hello, can I speak to Yami Yugi."

"You're talking to him."

"I'm calling from the hospital…."

Seto looked at Yami talking on the phone. Mokuba had dies and Seto tired not to think of it. He was trying to be strong and handle this carefully. Yugi was with Mokuba and he was sure that Yugi was still in a shock as much as he was.

"Yes, I'll go right away."

"What happen?"

"Yugi is in the hospital getting treated. They have Mokuba. Seto come with me so you can claim your brother's body and to see Yugi. Please you're not alone."

"Haha…Not alone, yea right. I'm not going. I don't want claim his body. I don't want to do anything. Just leave me alone." Seto's eyes were cold and empty. There was no sight of any warmth.

"I hate him. Why did he have to die? Why couldn't I die in his place? He was barely 17. we were barely in high school. He was such a smart kid. They skipped him to my grade. He left me alone, and left with Yugi. I notice the things you lose in life don't just disappear in thin are, someone takes them! I'm not ready to see him. He can't be dead. He can't!" Seto turned and ran to the door. He opened it and ran out. Yami ran after Seto without hesitation. The rain poured down hard. The two boys ran in the rain, one slightly ahead of the other. Yami ran as fast as he could, but so did Seto.

"Seto…" Yami screamed.

Seto tired to run faster but he couldn't.

'No one loves me. I'm all alone now.' He thought.

"No one loves me! You don't even love me. You're scared of me or what I would do! Go away!"

Seto screamed.

"Seto wait I …" Yami tripped and feel into a puddle of water. His vision burred as he saw the tall figure disappear.

"I do love you. I'm not afraid of you or what you would do. I'm just afraid of getting hurt again."

Chapter end

Well I'm sorry for the long wait. I'm tired and sick and I have a tennis game. This chapter has most of my feeling of life and love. My arguments that I have with myself. I haven't been feeling any good lately. I cut myself again. Stupid ain't I. Well I suck at writing. I'm sry for making this chapter kinda short. It was like 5 more pages longer but I got tired of typing and I thought I'll make that a different chapter. I wrote this chapter in June. But I couldn't type it up cause I had no time. I thought about the songs and I thought I'll put this one again. As for Seto and Yami well poor them. I hope you like it. Please review even if you hate it. If you hate it tell me what you hate about it. But don't just say it sucks tell me why. Ok later Melissa a.k.a Nina


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